First is picking out the right site for you. Do you go to the free site, where there are decent people, but it’s a free for all where anyone, like a catfish, can go? Does the paid site decrease levels of creepiness and wackadoos? Should it be a specific dating site, like for farmers or Jewish folk or single parents? Should you go on as many sites as possible to increase your odds?
Then, the profile. Even though most of us have to work 40+ hour weeks, have kids and need sleep, we must put up photos of the world traveler/free spirits that we are. Then write something clever so people think we’re clever and all around amazing.
Now the search. What are we looking for? You’re telling me out of billions and billions of people our match is going to be located within 15miles? And they have to be a certain height, with a certain level of income, must have a car and eat meat?
The selection process is daunting if not downright depressing. The commercials for these online dating sites are not reality, they sell possibility, not reality.
When you come across someone and message each other back and forth a few times and can determine that person isn’t a total lunatic. Yes, many people reveal their lunacies within a few short messages. It’s time to set up a date which is the most awkward and forced interaction a human can participate in. It’s good to set an “out” in advance, just in case and also to minimize that awkward, “ok, how do I get out of here” fumbling. The worst part of all is the goodbye. If two people are totally into each other and showing all the signs then, it’s easy. If both were playing cool and giving common pleasantries, it’s difficult to determine if the kiss should happen. Then there’s the time when one party is in and the other is out, but the person that is in goes in for the kiss and the other person turns away. There should be some big social cues we can offer up, so there’s no mistaking the do not kiss me signals.
Some people try to go and date as many people as possible and see which one sticks, while other’s go one at a time. So, when two people hit it off on the first date and go out a few more times, the most difficult part about online dating is taking it to the next level and removing the online part. To remove the online profile is a BIG deal and for someone to have to ask the question means their serious. And if they have to ask, then maybe the person they’re serious about is not.
Awkward full and through. Good Lord, why do we put ourselves through this meat grinder? Do we spend too much time thinking about being in relationship? Is being single that scary?
Question is: Do you want to go through the meat grinder to find a single person who will eventually annoy you or do you want to remain happily single and do activities with different people all the time, so not to get as easily annoyed. Maybe being a couple isn’t all that it is cracked up to be.
Just my oponion.